Apology letter template in Markdown: own what happened

A private apology to one person

This Markdown apology letter template is for writing to someone you have let down. Its subject is your own conduct: what you did, what that meant for the other person and what you can do about it. It is a personal letter, with no audience beyond that person.

Write about one specific fault instead of recounting your whole history together. An apology for leaving an agreed task to someone else can stay with that act. It does not need to argue for your character or settle every disagreement.

The .md ending has its own explanation in a guide to .md text. The brackets in the first block below mark wording to replace; they do not belong in the finished letter.

The apology letter template

Put the empty template in a private .md file. Write over each bracketed prompt in language you would use directly with that person. The title is for your draft; the letter begins with the greeting.

# [Private draft title]

Dear [John Doe],

I am sorry I [name the specific thing you did or failed to do].

I [state your responsibility without an excuse]. That left you [describe the effect you know about].

I can [offer a specific act of repair, if wanted]. From now on, I will [name a change in your own conduct].

[Leave the other person room to respond or take time, without asking for forgiveness by a deadline.]

[Respectful closing],

[Jane Doe]

The greeting names one person. The opening then gets to the act itself. A sentence such as "I am sorry I left you to put away the chairs alone" gives the apology a subject. "I am sorry about everything" leaves the person to work out what you are owning.

In the next paragraph, take responsibility in a sentence that can stand alone. Adding "but" followed by a reason can turn that sentence into a defense. Omit a reason that contributes nothing to acknowledging the fault.

The effect belongs beside that responsibility. Stay with what you know: someone had to finish a task alone, wait without an explanation or change their plans. If you do not know how they felt, do not supply feelings for them. You can acknowledge the work or time your conduct required without claiming to speak for them.

The gaps between paragraphs separate the apology, the offer and the close. See paragraph gaps in Markdown for how those gaps work. Keep each paragraph focused on its part of the letter.

Jane Doe's apology to John Doe

This example invents the two people as well as the incident. Jane Doe had agreed to put away chairs with John Doe after a meal, then left without doing her part. The example has no date; if a letter needs one, use the placeholder [date] while drafting.

# Private draft: apology for leaving the chairs

Dear John Doe,

I am sorry I left after the meal without putting away the chairs with you, as I had agreed to do.

I chose to leave my part undone. You had to put away all the chairs alone, and that took time you had reserved for something else.

If you would like, I can put away the chairs after the next meal. I will also tell you before I agree to a task if I cannot stay to do it.

You do not need to answer this letter. I am sorry for leaving that work to you.

With respect,

Jane Doe

The first sentence names the agreement and the act that broke it. Jane Doe then owns her choice without adding a reason for leaving. The effect is limited to the extra work and time described in this invented situation.

Her offer concerns the same task. It is conditional on John Doe wanting it, so it does not assign him another obligation. The promise about future agreements concerns Jane Doe's own conduct. Neither sentence makes John Doe responsible for ensuring that she follows through.

Repair and a close without pressure

Choose an offer that fits the fault and that you can actually carry out. If you left work to someone else, an offer to do that work can be more precise than "I will make it up to you." An offer is still theirs to decline. Avoid treating acceptance as proof that the apology has been accepted too.

A promise about future conduct needs the same care. Name what you will do differently at the point where the fault arose. Here, the fault began with an agreement to do a task that Jane Doe left unfinished. The change is to be clear before making the agreement.

End without asking for an immediate answer or a return to how things were. A respectful closing can be brief. The letter can acknowledge the fault even if the other person needs time or chooses not to respond.

Keep the draft private until it reads true

Choose a folder that you alone can access for this draft. Call the file something like apology-draft.md rather than putting another person's name or the incident in the filename. For the mechanics of naming it, see names for Markdown files.

Read the letter again before sharing it. If a sentence exists to win sympathy, excuse the act or hurry the other person, rewrite that sentence. If an offer goes beyond what you can do, narrow it. The words should describe your responsibility and your intended conduct without requiring a particular response.

The bracketed prompts are drafting aids. Take them out once your own wording is in place, and keep the letter private if any sentence still feels untrue. Finishing a draft does not create an obligation to share it.

Where Sashmark fits

Still in development, the Sashmark desktop app will let people read and edit Markdown written by their agents. A personal apology belongs to its writer; Sashmark's planned role is reading and editing the .md text the writer brings to it.